Hard Limits: Why You Need Them and How to Identify Them

Hard limits are boundaries that you aren’t willing to compromise. If there are certain things that you’re just not into, consider those hard limits. For example, you go to a BDSM scene party and it’s made up solely of people whose kink is popping balloons that may probably not be for you. Although we may not call this a hard limit, it’s an example of something that you just aren’t into. This falls under the category of being open minded, but discovering that some kinks that just aren’t for you no matter the situation.

A hard limit is something you’re never into no matter what the circumstances, and that repels you. That the difference between a kink you are not into and a repellent kink or fetish is disinterest versus disgust. Don’t ignore your hard limits. Even if you meet a beautiful woman off one of the few legit fetish sites who you really like, never break your hard limits. Trust us, we’ve run into some problems and it’s really not worth it.

Here’s some of our overall advice and experience with this topic. The thing is, BDSM pushes you to your limits. Setting where those limits stop is important and you should always communicate with your partner. Now, let’s get you ready to go the limit.

Listen to Your Own Instincts

“Think what is right for you and what is not”

According to the blog at the RainbowHub.com, hard limits are defined as things that are set in stone that you will not do, whether out of mental, emotional, or physical health. The BDSM scene also distinguishes between hard and soft limits. Hard limits are the ones that you will never transcend but soft limits are boundaries that you generally prefer to keep intact, but that you’re willing to push with the right person.

The bottom line about hard limits is that listening to your instincts is the key. Don’t go pushing your own limits if you feel like you’re fooling yourself. It’s only going to end up with disastrous consequences and you’ll ruin your own experience in the BDSM scene.

When you’re new to the scene, try going in steps to determine how you feel about limits. Check out some legit fetish sites and try and locate events that sound like somewhere you might fit in. Play with a variety of women and see how it goes. The point of the BDSM scene is to define and establish your own kinks and limits and use them as a framework of how you want to play.

When You Should Push a Limit

“Push your limits if you are really comfortable with your Dom”

The easy answer to this question is pushing a limit when you want to. For example, you meet a woman whose company you really enjoy off one of the legit fetish sites. She seems like an amazing partner who shares all your own kinks, so you agree to go for a play session. Where you meet up, at a public club or party, or in private, are irrelevant. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. Whether you’re a top or a bottom, you can still experience hard limits.

What will happen is that you’ll find that you simply can’t continue with certain kinks, but you can with others. These are the definitions of two different types of limits. If you start to experience the urge to push the softer limits, then go ahead and do so if the woman is the right person.

When you go through with it, don’t be afraid to stop the process at any time. Just because you say you’re into pushing a soft limit and going forward doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind; some limits are meant to be pushed and some aren’t.

When You Shouldn’t Push a Limit

“Don’t go for it if you are with someone new”

You shouldn’t push a limit if there’s not a solitary trace of enjoyment anymore. If you meet a woman in a site like TotalFantasyDating.com, make sure that it is a legit site by reading the reviews of the fetish dating site. Read TotalFantasyDating Review: Find Out If This Site Is a Scam. Learn if it is a real dating site because women in this site may seem perfect. Usually, if you’re taking the time to meet a woman in person who you met on the Internet, there’s something special about her. You can trust a woman who you’ve had a good time with.

However, you have to remember that certain kinks aren’t for everyone. For example, if the woman you’re with is into caning and caning makes your stomach churn, it’s perfectly fine to call it as a hard limit. Everyone’s limits are different and you shouldn’t be ashamed to name yours.

The fact of the matter is that only bad things can happen when you push a hard limit. Limits are there for a reason, whether psychologically, or specified in the rules and regulations of a particular party or club.

Learning the Rules and Breaking Them

“Go for it”

Hard limits aren’t to be crossed, but soft limits can potentially be nudged. If you find the right woman to play with, this can be an intense activity. The old adage of knowing the rules in order to break them applies here.

A soft limit should only be explored with women you know. For example, don’t try to explore limit pushing with strangers. That’s never going to work and trying to push yourself beyond your own emotional and mental capacity inevitably ends up in trauma and regret. Respect yourself and let your own intuitive boundaries come through. It’s only prudent when you’re playing in the BDSM scene and safer for everyone involved.

The best way to approach a soft limit is with caution. Let’s say your soft limit is being caned, for example. The limit might be considered soft, because although you think you’re not interested, you’re still curious. This is an example of a soft limit where, with the right partner, you can push certain boundaries. Just learn the difference between wanting to and feeling obligated.

Learning to Recognize and Request Information about Other People’s Hard Limits

“Learn and respect other people limits as well”

It’s perfectly acceptable, and often expected, to ask new partners about their hard and soft limits. You should always respect a partner’s limits, and moderate your behavior based on what their requests are. This goes both ways, so you can expect the same.

This also cuts out partners that aren’t compatible with your own kinks, especially if their limits have to do with things that you actually kink on. Hard limits are serious things, and often originate from different types of trauma, or simply emotionally uncomfortable associations for some people.

Hard limits also separate fantasy from reality. In real life, many people have things that they’re not willing to try, or bottom lines. Even though the BDSM scene prides itself on experimentation and alternative lifestyles, it can be good to define what you are and aren’t willing to do on sites like TotalFantasyDating.com. People’s kinks can fall on the extreme side at times so you should make it clear what your own limits are.

Don’t be afraid to spell this out the first time you meet someone you want to play with. Trust and communication are the foundation of the BDSM scene, and one of the most important parts of understanding limits in the first place. Be clear about what you do and don’t want when you discuss a scene with someone for the first time, and don’t be embarrassed. Hard limits are in place for a reason, and if your body is telling you that you really don’t enjoy something, then you should listen.

Barbecue Gadgets: The 5 Must-Haves

Backyard barbecue are one of the best things to do this summer. It is a fun activity that can be shared by family and friends. But these days, barbecues cannot be done without several barbecue gadgets. These are must-have items to make a perfect summer grilling experience.

There are so many barbecue gadgets but only 5 stands out as the best among the rest. Today you will learn more about these 5 barbecue tools that should be with you on grilling time.

The Fork

The perfect barbecue fork is the Fork It Over. The design makes it look more of a medieval weapon than a fork. It is designed to make it easier to flip meat on the grill no matter the position or the angle you are coming from. It simpler terms, it is the best barbecue fork ever made so far.

The Belt

Every heard of a barbecue belt? You may have created one yourself but nothing beats the Grillslinger. It is the perfect barbecue belt and it makes you feel like a cowboy. It is a nice belt that has 2 big holsters made of tough nylon that carry tongs and spatulas. It is like a carpenter’s tool belt if you want a modern comparison and makes barbecue a whole lot easier.

Awesome BBQ Gadgets to Get You Ready for Summer

Awesome BBQ Gadgets to Get You Ready for Summer

The Chicken Roaster

If you plan on roasting a whole chicken during your barbecue then I would recommend using the Vertical Chicken Roaster or VCR. As the name implies, it is a chicken roasting device where it roasts the chicken in a vertical or upright position. It also has a center container to hold flavor enhancements such as wine, beer and the like.

The Mitts

To avoid burns, you need to use mitts when you do barbecues. And the best barbecue mitt is the Good Grips Silicone barbecue mitt by Oxo. On looks, the mitt could look puffy making it difficult to grab anything. But try it out and you will discover how soft and flexible it is. The soft silicone material protects you from heat up to 600 degrees F.

The Grillers

Aside from the typical grills (the flat one for meat), you also need grillers for the non-meat variety. Among these are the popular corn and potatoes. The corn griller basket is the perfect griller for your corns when you plan to serve Cajun-style barbecue. You can still use it to grill potatoes. No need to burn your hands with the corn griller basket when you need to flip or remove them when they are cooked.

Must-Have Gear for Cooking Outdoors

Must-Have Gear for Cooking Outdoors

These are the 5 barbecue gadgets that you must have before summer barbecue days. Each of these will not cost you much but do prepare a budget. And be sure to get one of them when they happen to be on sale.

End Your Relationship With Dignity – 3 Tips To Keep In Mind

There is really no easy way to end a relationship. Whichever angle you may look, there’s no ignoring the fact that your soon-to-be-ex is going to get hurt. However, if you think the relationship is not working out for you anymore, then getting out of it might be the best thing you can do. Even if it could hurt a person, you can still make the whole situation better for the both of you. By using the right words, you could totally save your and your partner’s dignity despite the breakup.

  1. Figure out why the relationship didn’t work out for you

Although this is not a blame game, you can make a mental list on why you think the relationship wasn’t healthy for you already. It may be a general or specific list and can range from not sharing the same interests to lack of communication. By doing so, your decision to end it would be a lot more clearer to you and your partner, as well.

The moment you break the news to her, explain the list you’ve made in a vivid and non-judgmental way. As what was said, every relationship shouldn’t be a blame game. Keep your intentions clear. This way, your partner might understand better why you have come to such decision. Furthermore, it will lead her to thinking that this was not some overnight or spur-of-the-moment reckless decision you’re making.

End Your Relationship With Dignity – 3 Tips To Keep In Mind

End Your Relationship With Dignity – 3 Tips To Keep In Mind

  1. Arguing with him/her is the least you should be doing

Now that you’ve dropped the bomb, your partner might explode into emotions and words you might not have expected – the thing is: expect this to happen already and be prepared for it. However, whatever she might say or feel, it’s never advisable to argue with her. Considering the fact that you have already hurt her, countering her statements will just make matters worse.

Instead of doing so, listen to everything he/she says and acknowledge her feelings. Most probably, the situation will be much harder for her than it is for you.

 Tips for Relationship WIN

Tips for Relationship WIN

  1. Take time to reassure her

Don’t just leave her hanging after you’ve broken up with her. When you do so, you will just make her feel more confused and even hold a grudge at you for the rest of her life. Instead, make it a point that you reassure her. Tell her that she will definitely be the best girlfriend for someone else. Acknowledge her strengths and why you have been attracted to her in the first place. This will not only keep her self-esteem in good shape despite the breakup, it will also make you appear less of a jerk to her. After all, she used to be an important part of your life back then. At least, she deserves a decent breakup.

Don’t expect a breakup to go by smoothly. Every breakup will always be a mess, but if you know what to do, it will definitely be less messier than you’d expect it to.  

How Calculating Your Calories Needed Can Help Reach Your Goals

You may think that the only way to lose weight is to continuously exercise but there are other factors involved. Some of these factors include your activity level throughout the day and the amount of food you eat. Calculating the amount of calories you need per day, will help you work out how many calories you need to either maintain your weight, burn fat or even put on weight. Whatever your bodily goals are, working out how many calories you need, will take you a step closer. Before digging in to the calculations ensure that you have a calculator at hand.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Firstly, we will calculate the BMR. The BMR shows us what the body needs to keep going while the body is at rest. Look at the table below to see what equation suits your age range based on sex.

Age Equation for BMR


  • 18 – 30 [15.3 X Weight (kilograms)] + 679

  • 30 – 60 [11.6 X Weight (kilograms)] + 879

  • 60 + [13.5 X Weight (kilograms)] + 687


  • 18 – 30 [14.7 X Weight (kilograms)] + 496

  • 30 – 60 [8.7 X Weight (kilograms)] + 829

  • 60+ [10.5 X Weight (kilograms)] + 596

Calculate Calorie Deficit to Reach Goal Weight

Calculate Calorie Deficit to Reach Goal Weight

As an example let’s take a man named Steve, who is 40 years old and weighs 180 pounds. To convert pounds to kilograms we will divide the weight by 2.2.

  • 180 divided by 2.2 = 81.81 kilograms.

  • 81.81 times 11.6 = 948.99 calories

  • 948.99 plus 879 = 1827.99 calories

Steve’s BMR is 1827.99 calories – This is needed by the body to function when at rest.

Finding Out Your Activity Factor

The activity factor determines how active your lifestyle is. Do you move around a lot and keep yourself active? Or do you relax at home on the sofa all day with some moderate exercise? Look at the table below to determine what category you fit into.

Example Activities Activity Level Activity Factor

Sitting down the whole day, desk job, reading, ironing, laying down, Extremely Light 0.2


Electrical work, Waiter in a restaurant, cleaning the house, Light 0.3

Walking less than 2 miles

Light sports such as cycling or tennis, heavy gardening Moderate 0.4

Sports such as rugby, soccer or basketball, construction work Heavy 0.5

Once you have determined what activity factor you fall into we can calculate the amount of calories you need step by step.

Step 1 – Activity Calories

Multiply your BMR by the activity factor you fall under. As an example we will use Steve again to demonstrate the process. Steve falls under activity factor 0.4.

Steve’s BMR 1827.99 times 0.4 = 731.19 calories

This means for Steve’s activity level he needs 731.19 calories.

Calories & Weight Goals: How It Works with MyNetDiary

Calories & Weight Goals: How It Works with MyNetDiary

Step 2 – Calories for Digestion

Calculating the amount of calories you need for the digestion process. The digestion process uses approximately 10 percent of your daily calories. In this step add your activity calories from the last step to your BMR.

Steve’s BMR 1827.99 plus Steve’s Activity Calories 731.19 = 2559.18 calories

Now we will times this by 10 percent.

2559.18 calories times 10% = 255.91 calories

Step 3 – Calories Needed

In this final step we will calculate the amount of calories needed. Add your BMR, Activity Calories and Calories for Digestion together.

Steve’s BMR = 1827.99 calories

Steve’s Activity Calories = 731.19 calories

Steve’s Calories for Digestion = 255.91 calories

1827.99 + 731.19 + 255.91 = 2815.09

For Steve to maintain his current weight the amount of calories needed is 2815.09.

Remember it’s not a good idea to push your calorie intake below what your body needs to function. If you don’t have enough calories your at risk of burning muscle. To keep track of your food intake, keep a food diary and regularly update it with what you’ve eaten with the number of calories consumed. This will help you control the amount of calories you take in on a daily basis.

Saving Money By Going Green In The Home

The planet accommodates all living things and it deserves real benefits every human being can provide. Its preservation is the future of more generations to come and it is in our hands. Start at home by going green and your savings starts at the same time.

5 Ways to Green the Home and Save Money

  1. Keep appliances energy-efficient. Old models that consume high levels of energy must be replaced. Less energy consumption helps the environment and generates a lot of savings on electric bills.

  2. Maintain a reasonable temperature setting. Heating and cooling applications represent a major part in the consumption of electricity. It is important to keep thermostat settings on tolerable level of heat or cold. Keep the furnace clean.

  3. Conserve water. Install aerators on faucets and keep low-flow toilet and shower. Use broom in cleaning the garage rather than hose it with water.

  4. Reduce global warming. Make it a habit to use, reuse and recycle as much as possible especially plastic.

  5. Plant a tree or maintain a garden. More trees mean cleaner and greener environment for everyone. Trees are sources of many byproducts and help drive pollution away.

Greening the Home for a Healthy Place to Live In

It is known to many that a newly painted house can be hazardous to the health of dwellers as paint releases chemicals in the air. The truth is a dry unhealthy paint equally causes harm.

Conventional paints contain volatile organic compounds (VOC), toxic metals, and solvents that bring about negative health effects. The composition causes ozone pollution and smog that render poor quality of indoor air even long after the paint has dried completely. Use healthier paint with zero or low VOC content.

Five Ways To Go Green And Save Money at Home

Five Ways To Go Green And Save Money at Home

5 Ways to Green the Garden and Save Money

  • Use compost fertilizers: Complementary soil organisms and balanced nutrients in the soil are provided by compost. Weeds are unlikely to grow and plants grow healthier in a healthy soil. Synthetic fertilizers act with chemicals and are costly.

  • Grow native plants: This kind of plants support animals, uses less water, and requires less tending.

  • Focus on perennials: Avoid plants that thrive in less than a year so that replacement happens in longer intervals.

  • Stop the use of chemical pesticides: The toxic chemicals in pesticides fill the air and a concentrated amount goes to the environment. Exposure can be harmful to human beings and animals with even greater threat to children.

  • Use old-fashioned mower: In operating a push mower, the only energy used is your energy. Waste nothing, save electricity, and promote health all at once.

Ways to Go Green, While Saving Green, in Your Home

Ways to Go Green, While Saving Green, in Your Home

Being earth-friendly is recycling and cutting down energy consumption. Use electricity wisely and recycle whenever possible for greater savings. After all, global environment protection is the responsibility of every citizen. If we do not make the move, nobody else will. If we do not start now, it will be too late.

Security Issues In Small Businesses

Most of the people around the world owns small businesses and run them for their livelihood. They are not attracted towards the sophisticated and big budgets requirements of big business. The industry has never focused on the security of the small business. The small businesses specifically had to settle with an overpriced security that mostly resembles with the home security. There has been a turning point in the small businesses. Now the leading providers and the security industry manufactures are focusing on the security of the small business.

Ecommerce Security in small business

Ecommerce security is an important feature that should be taken care while being in the small business. When a purchaser or customer is purchasing something from the website or shop and pays the dues by their credit card then there is an opportunity of stealing the information by the hackers. There is a choice of online service that the company utilizes. So be sure to use those websites that are having the best security measures. There is a secure socket layer on all the login pages to keep the information of the customer in a secure manner.

Simple Steps Small Businesses Can Take to Ensure Systems Security and Reduce Employee Access Issues

Simple Steps Small Businesses Can Take to Ensure Systems Security and Reduce Employee Access Issues

Data security in small businesses

Whether the business is run over the on premise server or on the cloud, the data’s along with the sensitive information’s are to be protected from the hackers or any type of physical damage.

The proper process of having security to the data’s of the small business is as follows:

  • One should be sure of having security to any of the cloud based files that are stored and should have a track of record.

  • One should have a backup of the data’s to the remote server. In case of any type of physical damage like fire etc. the data’s will be secured and won’t be lost.

  • One should always keep the server room well protected and locked and the sensitive data’s should be password protected.

Transmission security in small business

The data connection that is used to connect to the internet serves as a pipeline to all the data’s of the business that are stored locally on the computer in the business. This acts as a connection between the remote server and the data’s that one will receive from the ecommerce site. The data’s should be in encrypted format so that the hackers can’t be able to decrypt the data’s specifically in the wireless connections.

Financial security in small businesses

Business mostly is in loss because of the yearly revenues to the employee theft and fraud. The employee theft can be overcome if an attendance system as well as a manual time is maintained. The employee’s background should be screened thoroughly. Check the bank accounts periodically for any type of unusual activity. Always keep the commercial property, insurance papers and the general liability insurance up to date. In case of any type of disasters or injuries the insurance can protect the individual from financial crisis.

Small Businesses Underutilizing Social Media & Lax About Security Concerns

Small Businesses Underutilizing Social Media & Lax About Security Concerns

Physical security of small business

One should be sure of having the right security whether the business is house or in an office or on road. The physical security includes the property of the employee and the business assets. One should install fire alarms and a sprinkler to protect the properties from fire. Intruders can be prevented by using metal security gates and steel doors. GPS fleet tracking can be used to locate the vehicles that are moved without the authentication of the owner.

The business can be successful and reach the limit if it does not fall as victim to the security breach. With the above mentioned security measures as well as right protection one cam mitigate the damage to the reputation, property and finances. The success in the small business security shows the physical layout, vulnerabilities, and internal procedures.